Here is a short but potent excerpt from a sermon by Mark Driscoll found here.
Men are prone toward chauvinism or cowardice: too much or too little.
The key is to understand the Gospel. The perfect man is Jesus. The man who we were supposed to be like is Jesus. Our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, comes into human history to live life as the perfect man—God-man to be sure, but perfect man nonetheless.
Men, you and I need to take our cue for masculinity from Jesus. The key to masculinity is this: Jesus takes responsibility for himself (he works a job), and he also takes responsibility for me. The cross is where Jesus substituted himself and died in my place for my sins. My sins are my fault—not Jesus’ fault—but Jesus has made them his responsibility.
This is the essence of the Gospel. If you understand this, it will change how you view masculinity.
A man is not the one who can spit the farthest, punch the hardest, fart the stinkiest, or yell the loudest. A man takes responsibility.
Some of you are not big or strong or physically tough. In a cage fight, it’s not going to go well for you. In a squirt gunfight, it’s not going to go well for you. But you can still be a man if you’re responsible.
Jesus died for my sins; he took responsibility for me. Once you understand how Jesus’ masculinity is one of the means by which he has served us well as covenant head, then you will realize to be a man means to take responsibility as the head of the covenant of marriage.